Here’s what happens super often: I’m working on a funding proposal (yes, yet another one). And I catch myself muttering something like:

“Honestly, this call is ridiculous. The success rate is like 5%. It’s basically impossible. I’m just throwing this in to see what happens, but I’m not expecting anything.”

Sound familiar? Or maybe you can replace the grant in that with a paper. As in, you’re just shooting high.

If you’ve been in academia for more than a week, I bet that sounds familiar.

We all do that.

We talk down our chances. We look at the stats, we look at our half-finished drafts, and we declare the battle lost before we’ve even really tried.

For years, I thought this was just me being “realistic.” Or maybe just me being a dark pessimist (I do remember times when I was proud of that cynicism…)

But it turns out, there is some serious psychology at play here. And understanding the difference between two specific mechanisms might just save your career. Or your sanity. Or at least a tiny bit of it.

Telling yourself “it’s impossible” can either be your superpower or your kryptonite.

The Fine Line Between Protection and Sabotage

When we face high-stakes environments… say, like a tenure review, a major grant deadline, or even that paper you’re working on, our brains want to protect our ego.

Which makes sense! It’s nice to be protected!

We are terrified of trying our absolute best and still failing. I bet you are too. That hurts too much. And, in reality, yes of course it hurts! But if you’re scared of being hurt, academia…might be a bad choice.

So, in these cases, our brains go on autopilot and use psychological self-protection mechanisms, handily built-in to us.

But!

Not all self-protection is equal.

I looked this up just yesterday, after a chat with a colleague about why… well, why something/someone seemed so uninterested in something (sorry for being vague…) I think this explains a lot about our behaviour!

So. According to research, most of us fall into one of two camps when the pressure is on. But you must know which one you are in, because one leads to winning, and the other leads to misery.

Again, how many times have I talked about self-awareness? Same thing here! Try to catch yourself doing this, and then…figure it out from there. What to do, what to think, how not to harm yourself in the process.

Anyway, the two camps! Let’s go explore both.

1. The Defensive Pessimist (The Good Kind of Anxiety)

This concept was coined by psychologists Julie Norem and Nancy Cantor back in the 80s.

It’s basically when you deliberately set low expectations and mentally rehearse worst-case scenarios. You tell everyone (and yourself), “I probably won’t get this.”

I’ve done that so many times in the past!

But a good Defensive Pessimist, actually, uses that “positive” anxiety as fuel.

Because you are so worried about failing, you over-prepare!

“When in doubt, overdeliver!”

Always good advice, heh.

So you run some extra analysis. You polish the abstract one last time. You harness the anxiety into increased effort.

If you are a Defensive Pessimist, your “negative” talk is actually a strategy to mobilise your resources. You scare yourself into excellence.

2. The Self-Handicapper (The Bad Kind of Anxiety)

This is the evil twin of defensive pessimism.

Self-handicapping is when you create obstacles (real or imaginary, but obstacles anyway) so that if you fail, you have an excuse that isn’t

“I wasn’t good enough.”

It looks like this:

• What you do: You procrastinate until the night before the deadline. You skip the optional feedback session. You stay up late partying before a talk.
• What you say: You tell everyone, “I didn’t really try on this one,” or “I barely had time to write this.”

This one hurts. I can recognise myself in that, too.

If you fail, you can say, “Well, I didn’t have time.”

If you succeed, you look like an Einstein who pulled it off without effort.

Science point: Unlike Defensive Pessimism, Self-Handicapping lowers your performance. You are protecting your ego at the cost of your actual success.

Yiiiikes!

Which One Are You?

When I said, “This grant is impossible,” was I saying it to lower the pressure so I could work harder? Or was I saying it so that when the rejection letter comes, I can shrug and say, “See? I told you so,” while secretly putting in less effort than I should have?

Pretty sure I’ve done both. I bet you have too.

The danger isn’t the pessimism. We all have the permit to do that every now and then. (Just, please, not all the time.) The danger is when the pessimism becomes a permission to not do your best.

The “Am I Sabotaging Myself?” Framework

So, how do we ensure we are using our anxiety for good and not for evil?

Here is a “simple” (oh it’s never that simple in practice…) 3-step audit you can try in the future when you… well, when you catch yourself going against the odds.

1. Catch the Phrase Notice when you use absolutes about failure. “I have zero chance.” “This is a waste of time.” “My CV is not good enough for this.”

2. The Quick Test (Action vs. Avoidance) Immediately look at your behaviour after you say the phrase.

• Does the thought make you open the document and start typing furiously? (Defensive Pessimism → Keep going chief)
• Does the thought make you close the laptop and go grab a coffee or scroll X/Twitter? (Self-Handicapping → STOP)

3. Own your Grind If you are handicapping, call yourself out. Truth is always where any improvement starts. Nothing but the truth helps. You are sabotaging your future self just to protect your feelings here and now, today. That’s a bad trade.

If you are just being a defensive pessimist, that’s fine! Keep doing it, by all means, and just make sure that the “it’s impossible” self-talk in your head is driving you toward the work, not away from it.

So What?

Just wanted to say you don’t need to be a delusional optimist. I’m sometimes a bit like that. But you don’t need to. It is okay to be scared. It is okay to think the odds are stacked against you (because, a moment of harsh reality, they usually are in academia).

But you must never let the fear stop you from going forward. Just keep going. The pace doesn’t matter as much as direction.

If you’re going to be pessimistic, be a defensive one.